The Worst Love Story Ever (The Three Destined Lovers)
by YouMayKnowMeAsAngel
Summary: What would you do if you were told that you were destined to a god's lover? Pass out? Jump for joy? Piss yourself? Follow the stories of Samantha, Derrick, and Kate as they discover (however unwillingly) their fates. This is the tale of the prophesized lovers of Hermes, Dionysus, and Poseidon. Let it be known that when love is in the air, sanity (and pants) are out of the question.
1. I'm Not A Slut

**Hello, and welcome.**

**To all those who are from The Sun's Light, please enjoy this sort-of-sequel. *insert evil chuckle***

**To all those who are new, you do not have to read The Sun's Light to read this.**

**All you need to know is that this story contains three separate love stories, all wrapped into one. There are three characters who's perspective you will read from, and they will be introduced in bold at the beginning of each chapter. It'll make sense after a while, I promise.**

**Warnings for this chapter: Swearing, mild violence, drinking, making out, sexual innuendos, and all that jazz.**

-ooOOoo-

**Sam**

Sam was drunk. That in itself wasn't a big surprise, seeing how she usually spent the weekends drunk. Still, she hadn't planned on getting wasted, or making out with some random guy in her friend's bathroom, but whatever.

The guy was an idiot, but a good kisser. He was big, good looking enough, and just as tipsy as Sam was. So, the tongue battle had begun. Maybe, if Sam played her cards right, (and she always played her cards right) she could get a good bed romp out of this. Mr. Hickey Master probably wouldn't object. (What was his name again? Rick? Steve? Eh, she'd call him Rob.)

Rob was in the process of lifting her up onto the sink and stepping between her thighs when the door to the bathroom swung open. Sam resurfaced with a popping sound, and looked up to find an attractive guy standing in the door frame with a cocked eyebrow.

He smirked at her. "Sorry, am I interrupting something?"

Rob turned around with a drunken glare. "Get out of here, dumb ass," he snarled, his words slurring together.

He went to close the door, but the other guy stopped him with an elbow. "Look man, I just want to take a piss."

Sam looked him up and down. He was tall, which was stupid. (Sam was short, so tall people were assholes.) Still, he was extremely hot. He was tan and fit in a lean sort of way, and his curly brown hair was tussled fashionably around his face. He was wearing an old looking red flannel shirt and jeans. He had that sort of scruffy unshaven look going on, and it definitely worked for him. He caught her looking, and smirked again, flashing perfectly white teeth.

Rob was getting cranky. "Then go find another bathroom if you have to use it. This one's taken."

Attractive Man glanced between Rob and Sam. "Yeah, I can see that. Tell me, is your wife still on vacation?"

Sam's eyebrows flew up. She watched Rob's shoulders tense. She immediately jumped off the sink. "Wait, hold the fuck up." She jabbed a finger in Rob's paling face. "You have a fucking wife?"

Rob tried to look as if he didn't care. "Yeah, does it matter?"

Sam rolled her eyes to the heavens. "Great. Now I'm the slut who's gonna wreck your marriage." She couldn't believe it. How _stupid_ could she be? For christ's sake, did she even bother to check his ring finger? Then again, the idiot was at Dee's party, so he must be looking for action. Still, just because he was a good kisser did not mean that Sam was going to ruin some woman's relationship. This was ridiculous.

Rob wasn't happy. "Calm your tits, it's not like she's going to find out," he snapped, his face turning red.

Sam let out a short laugh. "You bet your ass she won't. I'm not doing you anymore favors tonight, sweetie."

Rob growled, grabbing her forearm. "The fuck you aren't."

Being short had a few perks, one of them being the perfect height to knee someone in the balls. So, that's what she did. Rob crumpled like a rag doll, hit his head on the door frame, and didn't get up.

"Shit, he's not dead is he?" Sam asked, thinking of what her friend might say if she killed a dude in the bathroom.

Attractive Man glanced down at him. "Nah, just passed out. Alcohol mixed with head injury. Should be fine."

Sam thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. "Not my problem."

He raised his eyebrows. She did the same, daring him to say something disapproving. When he didn't, she sighed. "Well, I think that's enough partying for me." She moved to the side to let him pass. "Bathroom's all yours."

He smiled. He was close enough to her that she could see the color of his eyes. They were dark brown, like melted Hershey kisses.

Lord, she was wasted.

"Nice knee kick by the way. You have good aim."

She gave him a wry smile. "I work in a tattoo parlor and got two older brothers. I know how deliver a good kick to groin."

He chuckled, looking her over. "So, a tomboy huh?"

Sam leaned against the sink, cocking her head to one side. "Who's asking?"

Attractive Man put his hands in his pockets, that smirk of his never leaving his face. "Hermes Evangelos."

Sam couldn't help the teasing grin. "Hermes? Like, the greek god?"

Hermes rolled his eyes. "My parents were both hippies."

"Hmm. Were they good looking hippies?"

"Obviously. Why else do you think I look like this?" He wagged his eyebrows, biting his lower lip suggestively.

She shrugged. "Birth defect?"

Hermes blinked, letting out a short laugh. "Well, look who has a sense of humor."

Sam crinkled her nose. "You should see me when I'm sober. You'll laugh your ass off."

"No doubt about that. Hey, you never told me your name." He pointed a finger at her accusingly.

She raised an eyebrow, taking in his expectant look. "No, I didn't, and it's rude to point."

He dropped his finger, his smirk growing. "Oh, it's gonna be like that is it? And after I told you mine?"

Sam shrugged, finding herself falling into an easy banter with the guy. "Can I help it if I'm mysteriously sexy?" She winked at him.

He laughed again. "I wouldn't go that far. You just knocked a guy to the floor."

Sam winced, glancing down at Rob. Weirdly enough, she had forgotten about him. "I hope you don't think I'm some kind of a slut, but you know. I'm drunk, he was good looking, I was a bit horny…" She frowned at herself, trailing off. Why was she telling him this? She never felt the urge to explain her actions to anyone. She didn't care what people thought, so why the hell was she defending herself?

Hermes thankfully seemed to understand. "It's cool, I get it. This kind of stuff always happens at Dee's parties."

Sam blinked in surprise. "You know Dee?" She had assumed that he was an extended friend, like a fourth cousin of Dee's boyfriend or something.

He shrugged. "Yeah. I used to date her sister."

"Wait, Gina?" When he nodded, Sam frowned. "Huh. She never mentioned you."

Hermes rolled his eyes. "Yeah, probably cuz' it only lasted a few weeks, and _I_ broke up with _her_. She's full of herself."

Sam crossed her arms, widening her stance a little. "You better be careful, she is my friend." She knew that she didn't look like much of a threat, but she stuck out her chin and turned on her glare.

He gave her a weird look. "You're very quick to defend her, even though you obviously don't like her."

Sam wasn't going to ask him how he knew that. Instead, she shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm a good friend."

He nodded slowly, his eyes twinkling. "Yeah, I can tell."

Sam smiled, her defenses immediately crumbling. The guy was nice, even if he was a bit weird. It was funny how comfortable she felt around him. Sam wasn't exactly a shy person. In fact, she loved attention. She demanded it, even if it wasn't the good kind of attention. But, she had a hard time trusting people. Few were close to her. Sure, she knew a lot of people, a lot of people who considered themselves to be her friends, but none of them knew much about her. She was just fun Sam, good for a laugh and a great time. Nothing clingy or lasting, and she liked it that way.

And yet, here she stood, chatting openly with some guy she just met in a bathroom. Not to mention the fact that she just kneed some idiot in the balls right in front of him, as if the situation wasn't awkward enough.

Suddenly remembering where she was and why he was even in the bathroom in the first place, Sam pushed herself off the sink with a small smile. "Well then Hermes Evan-Jello, I better leave you to your private time."

Hermes frowned at her. "It's Hermes _Evengelos_, and don't say 'private time'. You make it sound like I'm gonna' masturbate or something."

Sam walked backwards out of the bathroom, holding her palms up with a smirk on her face. "Hey, I'm not one to judge."

He snorted, and nudged the still snoring Rob out of the way with his foot. "Right, well don't wander off. I want to hear more about that tattoo parlor job of yours."

Sam stopped at that. Usually, when she told guys about her job, they usually thought of it as sexy. Not too interesting, just sexy. The way Hermes said it though, he only sounded interested. "Why would you want to hear more about it?" She found herself asking.

He threw her another shiny grin, never missing a beat. "I find it a bit strange that you work in a tattoo parlor, and yet you have no tattoos."

Sam glanced down at her outfit, taking check of how much skin was showing. She was wearing a black tank top and a mini skirt, something very mild for her personal taste in clothing. She made sure that her tattoo wasn't showing before she looked back up at Hermes. She gave him a suggestive smile, looking up at him from underneath her eyelashes. "Well, did you consider that it might be in a place that's covered up?" She winked at him again, then turned with the full intention of walking away.

And suddenly, he was there, standing just behind her and whispering in her ear. "Oh, I definitely considered it."

She shivered despite herself, and she felt him chuckle against her neck. Then, he stepped back, and the door to the bathroom shut. Sam turned to stare at it, her eyebrows high on her forehead. She found herself giggling, _giggling_ at both herself and the stunt he just pulled. Whispering in her ear? The oldest trick in the book! And here she was, shivering like a high schooler!

She must really be drunk. That was the only explanation.


	2. Wine and Sexuality

**IMPORTANT! Ok, so I have once again failed to mention some important info in both the summary and the A/N in the first chapter. So yes, I'm a stupid little shit and I will make sure that I beat the living crap out of myself. And then I will go to therapy. Again. (It's fun. **

**They have M&M's and Billie Joel CD's.)**

**Important info I forgot to mention because I am a butt-face-dumb-shit: This is a modern-day fic. The greek gods are all alive, but humans don't know that they still run the world. (Think of the Percy Jackson series if you have to.) Also, all the characters (gods included) are in their twenties. Their precise ages will be told later, but understand that they are all pretty young, and just starting to make a place for themselves in the world. **

**Yes, there is a male pairing in this story. If this bothers you, you can simply skip Derrick and Dionysus's chapters. I will also ask you to keep your opinions to yourself, although I doubt that there will be any trouble with that. After all, this is FanFiction, the site of a million gay ships, OTP's, and pairings. Meh.**

**Enjoy.**

**Warnings for this chapter: Swearing, and sexual innuendos (most likely).**

-ooOOoo-

**An excerpt from Aphrodite's book, ****Love sucks, and Then You Die**

_Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes? Well then, you're either Walt Disney himself, or a hopeless idiot. I hate to break it to you, but there is no such thing as love at first sight. That fairy tale based wet dream isn't going to happen._

_However, attraction at first sight? Lust at first sight? Very real, and _very _common. People encounter people that they find good-looking/sexy almost everyday of their lives. Falling in love is a long process. I should know. I make a living off it._

_No, don't give me that "But when I saw them I just knew!" crap. When you saw them, the only thing that you knew was that you wanted to get into their pants as quickly as possible. Granted, not everybody thinks like that. Some people are attracted to intelligence. I think it is very important to "look on the inside," as they say. (Though I doubt that there is anything sexy about internal organs, but whatever kink works for you.) What I'm trying to say is that it's not possible to fall for someone as soon as you lay eyes on them. _

_However, it is possible to feel a spark._

_A spark is potential. A spark can be attraction, lust, happiness, or simple curiosity. Still, it could be so much more. A spark is what people often mistake for love when they first look at a person. A spark at first sight isn't love, but it could be, if paid attention to._

**Derrick**

"Hey Rick! Stop flirting with the customers and get your ass over here!"

Derrick rolled his eyes, smiling apologetically at the two women he had been talking to. He turned to yell over his shoulder. "Shut your trap Alf! It's Benny's sister, and I'll be over in a minute." He turned back to the two girls, who were now giggling. "Sorry about that. Alf gets a bit…antsy around closing time."

Laura, Benny's sister, nodded with an understanding smile. "It's fine. You guys are tired. It was a busy day."

Derrick nodded in agreement, glancing around the restaurant. Saturdays were always busy, but this one involved three birthday parties and a family reunion. The Big Pot was used to accommodating large parties and outings without trouble, but today had been hell. Derrick had been running around the kitchen like crazy, trying to both cook and make sure that he was cooking the right thing. It had been beyond hectic.

Still, Derrick wouldn't trade his crazy job for anything. He loved cooking at The Big Pot. He had only been here for a little over two years, but he felt as though he was one of the old timers. He smiled a little at his sentiment gush, and turned back to Laura and her friend.

Laura was Benny's younger sister, and Derrick had known the two of them since he first moved to the city. Benny owned The Big Pot, and was quick to offer Derrick a job there. Derrick, having just graduated from culinary school, took the job thinking that he would move onto something bigger in a few months. He didn't, for several reasons.

For one thing, he loved his job. Sure it was hectic and didn't pay much, but he actually looked forward to going to work everyday. Plus, he swiftly became friends with Benny, Laura, and Alf (a fellow cook).

Laura didn't work at The Big Pot, but she was around so often it almost felt like she was part of the restaurant. Derrick enjoyed spending time with her. She was pleasant and witty, and almost like a sister. The only downside to hanged out with her was that she insisted on playing matchmaker for him. Everyday after closing, it was always the same story. Laura would show up with one of her single friends in tow, and it would be "Hey Derrick, have you met my friend Susie/Clara/Kimberly? She's currently not fucking anyone! Why don't you two go out back to suck each other's faces and exchange wedding vows?"

Ok, so maybe Laura wasn't that bold, but her intentions had been clear from the moment she found out that Derrick was single.

Speaking of Laura, she was back to her old tricks. She smiled up at him. "Allow me to introduce you to my friend, Penny. She works at the cupcake store down the street."

Penny smiled at Derrick, fluttering her eyelashes and sticking out her chest a little as she held out her hand to shake. "Nice to meet you."

Derrick offered her a polite smile and handshake. "Hi. I'm Derrick, Laura's current man-on-a-leash."

Laura jabbed his gut sharply with her elbow, but Penny merely giggled. "Oh, so she's got another one?"

Derrick chuckled. "Yup. Though she seems to like bitches better than males." He wiggled his eyebrows at her, referring to the night she had made out with Benny's girlfriend on a drunken dare.

Laura rolled her eyes. "You're hilarious. Now, I'm gonna go find my brother, and you two are going to sit down and wait for me until I get back. Got it?"

Derrick frowned. "Um, actually, I kind of have some cleanup work to do, and I can't stay here for that long-"

"Shut up and sit down." Laura snapped.

Derrick, knowing better than to protest, shut up and sat down at the nearest table. Penny sat across from him. Laura smiled at the two of them, winked at Derrick, then sauntered off towards the kitchen.

He let out a long suffering sigh, turning to Penny. "Does she ever listen to anything that anyone says?"

Penny shrugged and smiled. "It's fine, you learn to ignore it." She leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. "So Derrick, tell me about this place."

Derrick raised his eyebrows. "What do you want to know?"

"What's with the name? The Big Pot? It sounds a bit strange."

He shrugged. "You should ask Laura. Her dad named it." He knew he was doing a bad job at chatting, or flirting, or whatever it was that Laura wanted him to be doing at the moment. He just wasn't in the mood for a blind date, or any date for that matter. Still, he might as well be polite.

He leaned back in his chair, looking around the room. "I guess you could say that the place is supposed to be relaxing, home-like. You know, warmth and comfort food." Derrick smiled to himself. "It's family oriented. Nothing fancy, nothing rushed, just nice."

Penny nodded along enthusiastically. "I can see what you mean. It's very calm."

Derrick had to agree with her. The restaurant, with its dark furniture and simple detail, let off a cheerful and welcoming vibe. Even when it was crowded and rowdy, The Big Pot seemed to feel as though everything was friendly and peaceful.

Until you stepped into the kitchen that is.

Speaking of which…

Derrick gave Penny another apologetic smile. "Sorry, but I really got to go help with the clean up. It was nice meeting you." He got up quickly, barely managed to leave a "Goodbye," and rushed off to the kitchen.

As soon as he walked through the metal doors, Alf was all over him. "Where the hell have you been?!" He demanded. "Everyone else bailed, and I sure hope that you don't expect me to do this shit by myself!"

Before he could say anything, Laura was there too. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you with Penny?"

Derrick scooted away from the two of them, heading towards a cluttered station. "I don't think she likes me too much."

Laura snorted. "Are you shitting me? Look in a mirror! Tall, adorable, shaggy black hair, big blue eyes, who the hell wouldn't want you?"

Derrick smirked, and grabbed some rubbish from the cutting board. "Gee Laura, you're gonna make me blush."

Alf looked between the two of them, interested. "Wait, who's Penny?"

Laura crossed her arms sulkily. "Oh, no one special. Just another one of my friends that Derrick _rejected_."

Derrick thew her a look. "Please, I didn't reject her. I just didn't flirt with her."

Alf held up his hands. "Hold up, was this another date attempt?"

Laura practically growled. "Up until it failed."

Alf looked to Derrick. "How pretty was this girl?"

He thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. "She was decently attractive. Your type, if you're asking."

Alf grinned, his eyes twinkling mischievously. "Alright then."

Laura glared at him. "No, absolutely no 'alright then'. She won't like you."

Alf spun on her. "And why not?"

"You're not her type."

"Bitch, please. I'm blonde, I'm tan, I work out, what woman wouldn't want me?"

"Do you want the list?"

"Shut up."

"It's a pretty big list."

"What part of shut up did you not understand?"

Derrick smirked to himself as the two of them bickered. Alf and Laura were like an old married couple, and it was funny to watch them fight with something that border-lined flirting, but he would never tell them that. He would be dead before he hit the floor. So, he went about his work, slowly cleaning up while the two idiots had it out.

Alf drew his attention back after a few minutes. "Hey Rick, would you mind putting this bottle of wine and two glasses on table seven?"

Derrick walked back over and took the bottle that Alf was offering him. "Why?"

He shrugged, glancing at Laura (who was still glaring at him). "It's for Benny and one of his friends. He left me a note about it."

Laura scoffed. "I know which friend it is. You might want to bring several bottles."

Derrick raised an eyebrow. "Why? Heavy drinker?"

She smirked. "That's putting it lightly. The guy's a fish, not to mention rude as fuck. I don't know why my brother's friends with him."

Alf glanced at the kitchen doors. "Speaking of friends…Laura, is yours still out there?"

She gave him a suspicious look. "Probably, but-"

Alf was already out the door.

Laura swore, and stormed out after him. "Don't you even _think_ about it, Alfred!"

Derrick glanced down at the bottle of red wine he held. He wondered why Benny would ask for wine of all things. It wasn't like they didn't have beer, or other less pretentious alcohols. It hardly mattered to him though, so Derrick grabbed two glasses and headed out to table seven.

Alf, Laura, and Penny were at the front door, and Alf was clearly flirting with Penny (much to Laura's obvious annoyance and disgust). Derrick smiled a bit, and continued to make his way to the table. It was a small booth in the corner of the restaurant, tucked out of the way and next to the front window. He frowned. Why sit back here when there were plenty of other tables with better lighting? It wasn't like anyone else was going to sit nearby them.

Still, despite being Benny's friend, the guy deserved his privacy. _Especially when he has Laura as a sister_. Derrick added to himself as he set the wine down. He heard the door to the restaurant open, which probably meant that Laura, Alf, and Penny had decided to take their conversation outside. He considered following them, but he noticed a smudge on one of the wine glasses. Even though it was just Benny and his friend, it wouldn't hurt to make sure that the glasses they drank out of were clean. So, Derrick started wiping the glass with his chef's apron.

A deep voice suddenly spoke up, merely inches from his left ear. "Hope you're not cleaning that for me."

Derrick spun around in surprise, accidentally knocking the wine bottle off the table with his elbow. The stranger in front of him immediately grabbed it, catching it calmly in his palm before it hit the ground. He straightened up with a smirk, and the first thing that went through Derrick's mind was _Shit, he's good looking._

And he was. The guy had to be a friggin' model or something, because normal people simply didn't look _that_ good. He was a bit shorter than Derrick (everyone was), but his stance and body structure made Derrick feel as though he should be looking up at him. The guy had a seriously chiseled face, an infectious smirk, and perfectly messy brown hair. His skin was covered in a golden tan, and his blue eyes seemed to glow in the dark lighting. Even his stubble was attractive.

Derrick would be the first to admit that he was bisexual. (He _should_ be the first to admit it, seeing how it was his own preference, but whatever.) It didn't seem like that big of a deal to him. He had dated around the spectrum in culinary school, found out that he liked dicks just as much as vaginas, and that was that.

Still, a person didn't have to be gay or bisexual to be attracted to this guy. Everything about him reeked of sex and confidence. It was distracting. So distracting, that Derrick only realized he had been staring when the guy's smirk widened knowingly.

Derrick looked down at the wine. "Uh, thanks for catching that." _Wow Derrick, real cool thing to say. _He thought to himself, wincing a bit.

Thankfully, the guy just smiled. "It's fine."

There was that deep rumble again. Derrick forced himself to concentrate. He honestly never got this worked up and nervous around a person. It was…unprofessional. Noticing how close they were standing to each other, he quickly took a step out of the guy's personal space. This of course caused him to bump his ass against the table like a fucking moron, but he pretended it was purposeful by putting down the glass he had been holding.

He glanced around the restaurant, realizing with a frown that the others were gone. He looked back at the guy. "Did you come here with Laura and Penny?"

The man's eyebrows quirked. "Laura? Benny's sister?" He leaned against the wood frame of the booth, rolling the bottle around in his hands. "No, but I know her."

A sudden thought struck Derrick. "Wait, you must be Benny's friend."

He smiled, his tone teasing. "You didn't know?"

Derrick felt his ears grow warm. "It's been a long night." He defended himself. "Besides, it's not like I've seen you around here before." He crossed his arms, looking the guy up and down. He was dressed casually, with a gray tee-shirt and jeans. Still, the bastard made it look as though he was modeling designer clothing or something. Derrick tried not to let his appreciation show.

The guy shrugged, glancing around the restaurant with a look of disinterest. "I haven't seen Benny in a while. Haven't been in the city for a while either…" He muttered, more to himself than to Derrick.

Derrick felt as though he should say something, like maybe a welcome back or greeting. His mouth moved without him telling it to do so, and he found himself saying, ""Well, at least you're back now." _Look who's Mr. Smooth Talker tonight. Dammit._

The guy turned back towards him, amusement in his eyes. "Yeah." He looked Derrick up and down, making him feel a little self conscious. Compared to this guy, Derrick must look like a giant sweaty troll or something. It didn't help that the jerk's stupid smirk grew when his eyes made it back up to his face. He glanced down at the wine bottle he was still holding, then offered it back to Derrick. "I'm Dionysus. Are you Alf?"

Derrick blinked in surprise as he accepted the wine. "Uh, no. I'm Derrick. Alf just left."

Dionysus (weird name) raised his eyebrows. "Derrick? Huh. Benny hasn't mentioned you."

Derrick rolled his eyes. "Well, Benny's a forgetful moron." He spoke without really thinking, and once he realized that he probably just insulted the guy's best friend, his stomach dropped.

Instead of punching him though, Dionysus let out a deep laugh. "Yeah, the bastard can never keep track of his employees."

Derrick smiled a bit in relief. Dionysus smiled back. He had dimples when he smiled. _Jesus, my life is a fucking chick flick._

He cleared his throat, glancing at the kitchen door. "Well, I'll uh…leave you to it then."

Dionysus gave him a strange look, as if he was trying to understand something.

Derrick started to shuffle past him, feeling oddly flustered. "It was nice meeting you." He practically bolted for the door, but he found himself skidding to a halt when Benny's friend cleared his throat.

Dionysus looked at him over his shoulder. "Benny won't be here for a while."

Derrick turned with a frown. "Yeah, he's always busy with something. You're welcome to wait here for him."

Dionysus gave him a mischievous grin. "You know, I could use some company. I might drink the whole bottle while I'm waiting for him."

The invitation was clear, but as much as he wanted to, Derrick knew he really shouldn't. After all, he had just made a big show to Penny about having to clean up and go home. Still, Penny hadn't offered wine, or looked like a swimsuit model. He glanced at the doors to the kitchen, then back at Dionysus. The guy was staring at him expectantly, looking amused (was he always amused?) by his obvious indecision.

Derrick let out a sigh. "Fine. I'll join you, but only because I have no doubt that you will drink that entire bottle by yourself."

Dionysus, satisfied, sat down in the booth. "Did Laura tell you about me?"

Derrick sat down across from him, resting his back and neck against the wall as he forced himself to relax. "Yeah. She said you drink like a fish."

The guy raised an eyebrow. "Anything else?"

Derrick considered telling him. It wasn't as though Laura would be mad, she wasn't that secretive about her opinions. "She also said that you're rude as fuck."

Dionysus blinked, then snorted. "Jeez, I didn't think she would hold a grudge."

Derrick started to smirk. "Wait, did you do something to her?"

Dionysus shrugged with a small smile, and pulled the bottle of wine towards him. "She asked me out. I sort of told her no." He opened the bottle (although Derrick couldn't remember using cork screw) and poured himself a glass.

Derrick tapped his fingers against the table. "That doesn't sound too rude." The way that Laura said it made it sound as though the guy had done something horrible, like eat her first born child or something.

Dionysus quickly shook his head. "Oh no, I was a bastard." He chuckled to himself and took a sip of the wine.

Derrick tried not to watch the slightly erotic way he let the dark liquid slip past his lips. "Care to elaborate?"

"If you insist." Dionysus, his eyes twinkling, sat down his glass and leaned towards Derrick. "I was at a party of some sort. I think it was some chick's birthday, but that doesn't matter. So, I was pretty damn drunk. I can hold my liquor well enough, but I was flat out _gone_ that night." He chuckled again. "So then Laura comes over to introduce her friend to the guy that I was with, and she starts talking to me. At that point, I was just proud to be carrying on a conversation, so I wasn't really keeping track of what I was saying. I kept laughing at random shit, and my stomach was feeling weird, but I didn't say anything."

Derrick's eyes widened in realization. "Wait, you didn't…"

Dionysus nodded with a sigh. "Laura asked me out, and I responded by laughing and puking all over her front."

Derrick made a face that was somewhere between disgust and laugher. "No! Oh God, that's bad. What did she do?"

Dionysus leaned back and crossed his arms with a shrug. "The usual. She screamed, insulted my mother, then ran to the bathroom." He picked up his glass, and began to swirl around the wine like some kind of high class gentleman. "And that's not even the worse part."

Derrick raised his eyebrows. "Man, I don't know how you can get any worse from there. Laura is scary enough without puke all over her."

Dionysus lifted his glass in a toast. "definitely. But yeah, things actually got worse. I was feeling pretty guilty about the whole incident, so I contacted Laura through Benny and invited her to coffee. Everything was going fine until she started flirting with me."

"Wait, _Laura _flirted with you?!"

"Yup. I guess she thought it was a date or something. I didn't want to tell her that I that I don't swing that way nowadays, so I took the shitty way out and commented on some dude's ass."

Truthfully, Derrick wasn't all that surprised. He figured that the guy was either gay or bisexual, simply because straight men don't look at other men the way Dionysus was looking at Derrick. The only thing surprising was how calm the guy was while talking about it. Derrick knew plenty of men who were comfortable with their own sexuality, but Dionysus was talking as though he didn't really care. To act like that around a complete stranger was something that Derrick considered gutsy, even if Dionysus already knew that Derrick was bi.

Derrick masked his surprise with a disbelieving chuckle. "I take it she didn't respond to that well?"

Dionysus smiled and reached for his wine again. "She almost threw her coffee in my face. Thankfully, she just got up and walked out."

"And what'd you do?"

Dionysus pretended to think about it. "I believe I shouted something like 'It's not that you're not hot, just that you have a vagina!'"

Derrick couldn't help it. He burst out laughing. The image of Laura walking away from this guy in a fury was just too funny. Dionysus soon joined it, his deep chortles mixing in with Derrick's shorter, higher pitched ones.

"Looks like you two are having fun."

Derrick looked to his right to find Benny watching the two of them with crossed arms and a raised eyebrow. He was a big guy, and his presence immediately made Derrick feel as though he was being reprimanded by a parent.

His laughter died down to quiet giggles. "Hey Ben! Glad you could-_snort_-join us!"

Benny sighed and turned to Dionysus."I take it you had something to do with this?"

Dionysus smirked at him, glancing at Derrick. "Can I help it if I'm that amusing?"

"What was so funny anyways?"

Derrick tried to keep his face straight. "Just the fact that your sister has a vagina."

Dionysus's head fell back in another bout of laugher, and Derrick soon followed. Benny glared down at the two of them as they laughed themselves to pieces.

As they started to calm down, he spoke in a bored tone. "Finished?"

Derrick, his face still split in a wide grin, gave Benny a small nod. "Just about." He started to get up from the booth, although a large part of him wanted to stay. However, he really did have to clean up and go home, and it was already pretty late. He turned to Dionysus. "It was nice meeting you, even if you are a jerk."

Dionysus smiled broadly, his gaze once again traveling up and down Derrick's body without shame. "Pleasure to meet you Derrick."

Benny rolled his eyes pointedly. "If you two are done eye fucking each other, I would like to get on with my evening."

Derrick blushed at bit, and mentally cursed himself for it. He nodded at the two of them (and pointedly ignored Dionysus's smirk).

Benny, suddenly seeing the wine, stopped him from walking away. "Hey, why did you bring the wine out? That's only for special occasions."

Derrick blinked in confusion. "Uh, Alf told me to set it up for you. He said you left a note…?"

Benny frowned. "I didn't leave a note." He turned to Dionysus, his gaze accusing. "Did you have something to do with this?"

Dionysus's brow furrowed, and he turned to stare at the wine. "No, I didn't."

Benny scoffed. "Then who the hell left the note?"

Dionysus's eyes suddenly widened, and he looked up at Derrick with an intense gaze. "Where did you find this bottle?"

Derrick stuttered, confused by the topic of the conversation. "Uh, I-I don't know. Alf just handed it to me. He said that Benny left a note by it…?" He repeated, unsure.

Dionysus's eyes narrowed. "This wine was made at Aphrodite's orchard. You know nothing about this?"

Benny let out a little gasp. "Aphrodite's orchard?" He turned to Derrick in shock, then whipped around to look at Dionysus. "It's a sign! I would never carry that wine, so it must have been planned! You do realize what this means?"

Dionysus, his eyes never leaving Derrick's, nodded slowly. "Yes. I think I do."

Benny turned back to Derrick, eyeing him with something between disbelief and laughter.

Derrick frowned at both of them, put off by their intense stares. "Uh, what's this all about?"

Benny opened his mouth to answer, but Dionysus quickly cut him off. "It's nothing, just a sign from an old friend. She's telling me that I've found what I've been looking for." His eyes racked over Derrick's face, his gaze strong but unreadable.

Derrick nodded, smiling a bit. "Ok then, I'm gonna' go now. You two keep being weird together." He turned to leave, feeling the stares of the two men burning into the back of his neck.

All during that night, he couldn't shake two thoughts from his head. One was Benny's reaction to the wine bottle, and the other was the memory of bright blue eyes and an attractive smirk, something that haunted him through his dreams.

**Sounds like someone has got a huge motherfukin' crush on a certain dude. But, who am I talking about?! (Holy shit, more mystery!) Anyways, I just want to say thank you to all of those who read The Sun's Light and came here, especially EmberFall. I can't seem to stop thanking you for shit, which could be potentially dangerous for you. Love ya!**


	3. Never Trust Friends With Cake

**A/N: Hello everyone! Not dead! Seriously! Alright, maybe a little, but only because this chapter SUCKED THE LIVING SOUL OUT OF ME WITH ITS DIFFICULTY! I mean seriously, the words just wouldn't come out!**

**A little side note, the fic known as The Sun's Light, the story in which this story was based off of has been taken off this site. I deleted (and burned) it, and it can not be found. Don't fret though, you don't need to read it to read this fic.**

-ooOOoo-

**An excerpt from Aphrodite's book, ****Love Sucks, and Then You Die**

_Ladies and gentlemen, we will now discuss the topic which has been brought to my attention on several occasions. The situation of Friend Interference._

_I think we have all experienced this in some way, shape, or form. It's when your dearest loved ones try to play cupid. The set ups, the blind dates, the hints and nudges, it's all rather tedious. While their intentions may be honorable, let it be known that _you _should be the one in control of your own love life._

_Sounds silly coming from me, huh? Still, I count the days until someone realizes that interfering with another person's love could be disastrous. Not that there isn't the occasional outlier. Some friends are very good at these set ups, and I happen to know of a few couples who met because their friends thought they would be good together._

_However, I urge you to chose your own path to love and happiness, and not someone else's._

-ooOOoo-

Kate stared down at her laptop screen, which read:

**Name:**

She groaned, putting her face in her hands. Debby had to be joking. She just _had _to be. How could she expect a person to sign up for a dating website right after a breakup?

Granted, Nick and Kate had called it quits a good two months ago, but that wasn't the fucking point! Just because her weekends consisted of double fudge brownie ice cream and Netflix did not mean that Kate didn't have a life! So she had worn sweats for the past two months. So what? They were comfy. And maybe she looked like a pathetic meat sack with runny mascara, but everything was _fine_.

Ok, perhaps Debby had a point…

Kate allowed herself to glance at the name of the dating website. It was bright pink at the top of the page, and written in big loopy font. _Aphrodite's ._

Nope. Debby was a bitch.

Kate started to close her laptop lid with a righteous snap, but stopped herself. She knew that no matter how much she whined and moaned, Debby was going to make her do this. In fact, her friend had threatened to make Kate's profile on the website herself. She said she was going to use that embarrassing photo from the spring potluck, otherwise known as The Day That Kate Got Drunk Off Her Ass and Puked on the BBQ.

So, she really had no choice. After another moments hesitation, Kate typed out her name. The screen now read:

**Name: **Kate Nora

She took a deep breath, slumping back in her seat. That hadn't been too hard. She glanced at the next question.

**Gender:**

Right, just in case there were any males out there with the name Kate Nora.

**Gender: **Female

**Age: **26

**Sexuality:**

Kate frowned at the screen. For this demand, she had to click on one of four options. Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and other. She stared at the last option. What the hellwas "other"? Was she missing something here? Was it for asexual's or something? What?

She toyed with the idea of choosing the "other" option, before sighing and clicking on boring old heterosexual.

**Why you are on this website:**

"You've got to be kidding me," Kate muttered. Shouldn't the answer to that question be obvious? _I joined this website because I'm either a young romantic idiot with pathetic ideals, or an old and previously divorced loser who's in need of compassion and sex._ Or, in Kate's case: _I joined this website because my friend is an asshole who believes I need a man in my life in order to be functional._

Kate glanced down at her wrinkled sweats and empty ice cream tub. Nope. Still perfectly functional.

She groaned, and let her head collapse on the keyboard of her laptop. Unfortunately, that hurt, and the screen now read:

**Why you are on this website: **fdahogbgai hga

Kate cursed Debby's name as she held down the delete button. She typed out a reasonable answer.

**Why you are on this website: **I'm looking for a long lasting relationship with a person who likes to have fun, and whom I can really connect with.

There. That didn't sound too depressing. A little pathetic, but not depressing.

**Please choose a picture of yourself.**

It took a bit of searching, but Kate found a decent photo on her computer that wasn't from that long ago. It had been taken during a picnic with her friends, and Kate was pleased to find that she actually looked nice in the photo. Her skin looked smooth and soft, and the lighting brought out the blue in her eyes as she smiled up at the camera. Her long back hair tumbled down her back in waves, which was certainly a contrast to the sloppy bun she had recently grown accustomed to.

She was pleased with the picture, and a bit surprised at how happy she looked in it. Then she remembered it had been taken while Nick was still her boyfriend, and her good mood disappeared. She grouchily clicked on the picture and allowed it to upload onto the website.

There were just a few more questions, such as her career (swim instructor), likes (movies and chocolate), and dislikes (cold days and cats). When Kate had successfully filled out all of the information needed, she read the little passage at the bottom of the screen.

**Now that you've completed our info sheet, please click "send" and wait for your replies!**

Kate snorted. Right. "Replies".

She let her cursor hover over the "send" icon. Should she really do this? Maybe she could explained to Debby that she just wasn't ready yet. Kate couldn't go back out on the dating scene, not after a relationship that lasted for three years. She winced. No, she couldn't do this.

And yet, maybe it was time to let go.

So her relationship with Nick had ended with pain and a broken heart. Everyone goes through bad love experiences. Who's to say she couldn't try again, and maybe do better the second time?

The problem was, Kate had thought that Nick was _the one_. You know, the guy that she could see herself marrying and raising a family with. Everyone else had apparently been thinking the same thing. It had been a bit of a shocker when they broke up, and Kate had been thrust into the "single's universe" as her friend Derrick liked to call it. And the worst part was, she didn't want to leave the universe for fear of being hurt again.

But no. The time for grieving and moping was over. This was ending, _today_.

She clicked "send" with a surprising amount of confidence, and was proud of herself for all of two seconds. Then, the doubts and fears came rolling back in, and Kate found herself staring at the screen in dismay. Well, shit.

The doorbell rang.

"Hey Kate!" She recognized Derrick's voice. "You home?"

"No."

She heard him sigh. "Stop being immature. Open up."

"I can't if I'm not home." She really didn't feel like talking to anyone, even Derrick.

Unfortunately, he was persistent. "Kate, just let me in."

"Go away."

"Please?"

"I'll call the police."

"Kate."

"I've got a gun."

"_Kate_."

"And a knife."

"Kate! I brought cake!"

Kate was at the door in no less than three seconds. She yanked it open to find Derrick standing on her front porch. He looked as tall as ever, and adorably cute with his boyishly messy black hair and bright blue eyes. Kate's eyes zeroed in on the pink box that he was holding.

She let out a high-pitched shriek. "Cake!" She grabbed the box and pulled him down into a hug with her other arm. "God Derrick, if you weren't gay, I would marry you on the spot!"

Derrick rolled his eyes, but hugged her back. "You know perfectly well I'm bisexual."

"Yeah, but referring to you as gay makes me feel better about the fact that you don't love me." She pulled back with a smile, and stepped to the side to let him into the house.

He entered with a smirk. "I love you," he insisted.

Kate snorted and closed the door behind him. "Yeah, but as a friend."

Derrick walked into the living room and flopped down on her couch. "That's me, the king of friend zones."

She smiled as she walked into the kitchen to cut some slices for the two of them. (Chocolate flavored icing. Bless Derrick.) "Not that I'm complaining or anything, but why did you bring the cake? Are you apologizing for something?"

She heard him chuckle. "Nah, I just figured that you could use some cheering up, what with Debby making you sign up for that dating website."

Kate bit her lip to keep from swearing. "Oh yeah?" She took out a large knife and cut the cake with a bit more ferocity than was necessary.

"Yup. " His amusement was obvious. "How's that going for you?"

Kate glared at him as she walked back into the room with the cake slices. "Shut up. I really don't see why Debby thinks the website is necessary. I can get a guy by myself." She handed Derrick his cake with a teasing grin.

He looked her up and down, his eyes narrowing in on her messy hair, wrinkled sweats, and ice cream stains. "Yeah, what guy wouldn't want some of that?"

Kate blushed and plopped down beside him. "Eat your cake."

Derrick studied her face. "You know, if you really don't want to do this…"

She rolled her eyes, folding her legs up on the couch. "Right, cuz' Debby would totally let me off the hook if I _really _didn't want to do it."

Derrick shrugged. "I could convince her."

"Derrick, the army and the navy combined couldn't convince Debby."

"You're forgetting the air force and the marines." Derrick threw her a smirk as he shoved a bit of cake into his mouth.

Kate glared at him. "You're happy today."

"Is that a crime?"

She studied him. "Not exactly…" His face was definitely brighter. In fact, this was the happiest that Kate had seen Derrick since his father left town. His eyes were bright and cheerful looking, and his mouth held a permanent little smile.

And then it hit her.

Kate gasped, causing Derrick to jump a bit on the couch. He looked around in alarm. "What is it? Did you see another cockroach? I swear, I thought we got all of those the last time that-"

"-You met somebody!"

Derrick stared at her. "What?"

Kate's hand jumped to her mouth to stifle a giggle. Derrick's face said it all. "You met somebody!" She repeated, nearly squealing with excitement.

His eyebrows bunched together. "I heard you the first time."

Kate quickly set her cake down, her attention now completely focused on Derrick. "Who was it? One of Laura's friends?"

Derrick shook his head, laughing nervously. "No! Kate, I didn't meet anybody!"

She grinned from ear to ear. "You're a lying little turd and you know it."

He let out a long sigh, already admitting defeat. Derrick leaned back into the couch, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. "Look, I talked to one of Benny's friends at The Big Pot last night after closing, but that was it!" He quickly added when he saw the look on her face.

Kate leaned towards him, placing her chin on her palms. "Was he hot?"

Derrick shoved another piece of cake in his mouth, talking around it. "I didn't say it was a guy."

"No, you didn't, but it was a guy."

Derrick blushed, actually _blushed_, and refused to meet Kate's eyes. "Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean that I only-"

"-Yeah yeah, you like girls just as much as guys, blah blah blah." Kate waved away his protests. "Just spit it out already. How hot was he, on a rating of birthday candle to forest fire?"

Derrick's blush spread to his ears.

Kate's mouth fell open a bit. "Wow. Volcano, huh?"

He cleared his throat. "Last time that I checked, we were talking about _your _love life."

Kate leaned back on the couch with a huff. "You mean my nonexistent one?"

He pointed his fork at her. "You know, for a girl who can barely talk in social situations, you're very sarcastic when you're around me."

She gave him a pointed look. "That's because I know you. It's also why this dating website won't work. I get…uncomfortable, around new people." Kate glared at her cake, silently cursing her inability to socialize like a normal human being.

"And you'll continue to get uncomfortable if you refuse to make an effort to meet new people. Now get up. We're going to a party."

Kate's head snapped up in surprise. "What? A party?"

Derrick smiled at her as he lifted himself off the couch, placing his empty plate on the coffee table. "Yup, a party. Laura's birthday party, to be exact. She wants me to bar tend, and I figure I might as well get you out on the social scene while I'm at it."

Kate's mouth opened and closed like a fish. "B-but, I can't go to a party!"

Derrick stretched, not even bothering to look at her. "Yes, you can."

"I'm wearing sweats!"

"Then change our of your sweats, idiot."

"Into what?!" Kate was starting to become more frantic. Once Derrick had a plan, he had a stubborn habit of following through with it.

He glared at her. "Don't give me that. What about that dress that your sister got you for Christmas?"

Kate raised her eyebrows until they felt as though they could touch her hairline. "Lilac's dress? The slutty dress?"

Derrick nodded, smirking down at her. "The slutty dress."

Kate quickly shook her head, and curled herself into the corner of the couch like a scared animal. "No. A million no's. That dress will never be worn."

"Oh, yes it will."

"Oh, no it _won't_."

Derrick let out another sigh. "Come on Kate! It's a fancy dress party, and that dress is the only thing you have that could pass for formal!"

Kate let out a hysterical little laugh. "Formal?! The thing looks like I pulled a mini skirt over my boobs! Besides, I'm not going to the party."

Derrick folded his arms over his chest and simply stared at her. "Kate."

She copied his pose and stare. "Derrick."

Silence.

"Put on the dress."

"No."

"Put on the dress."

"_No_."

"Kate Nora, I swear to god, I will force that dress on you."

"I thought you didn't like me that way."

Derrick raised an eyebrow. "You want to be immature?"

"I want to be left alone!"

"Not an option. You're coming to the party."

Kate sputtered. "B-but, you're not even dressed up!" She gestured widely at his t-shirt and jeans.

Derrick rolled his eyes. "Right, like I was going to show up to your house in a tux. You would have suspected something. You're gonna' change, then we'll drive over to my apartment so I can change, and then it's party time!" He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Kate groaned. "I really have no say in this, huh?"

He shook his head, that stupid grin still in place. "Nope. Now go get changed Cinderella."

She got up with a grumble. "Does that make you my fairy godmother?"

"Yeah, but with more sex appeal. Now, move your ass."

-ooOOoo-

_About a half hour later…_

Kate stepped onto her front porch with a loud groan. "I can't believe I'm doing this."

Derrick threw her a grin over his shoulder as he made his way down to his car. "You better start believing it, Ms. Nora. Now hurry up so we can get you to the ball."

She slammed the door behind her, and gave Derrick a glare for his efforts. "Are we still using the Cinderella analogy? Cuz' I'm pretty sure that Cinderella never looked like a hooker."

Derrick stopped and turned to look her over. "Eh, I wouldn't say hooker. More like classy slut."

"Oh thanks, that makes me feel so much better!" Kate hissed at him through gritted teeth, glancing up and down the street to make sure that none of her neighbors were outside. She might actually die of mortification if anyone saw her, because she would definitely commit suicide in that situation.

Derrick merely grinned and held the door open for her. "At least I called you classy."

"Yeah, but you used the word slut in the same sentence."

"In my experience, the two usually go hand in hand."

Kate rolled her eyes at him. She had to admit though, he was right on the whole slut thing. The dress was much to short on both the hem line and the top. It barely managed to cover her cleavage, and it fit like a tube sock around her waist. The skirt came down to her mid thigh, where it sported a slit on both sides. It was dark blue and brought out her eyes, but the color was probably the only thing "classy" about it.

She looked like a bitch in heat.

Still, Kate had made do with the rest of her body. She was wearing respectable shoes (black flats), and her dark hair was freshly brushed and pulled over one shoulder. She had managed to throw on a little makeup in order to not look like a complete train wreck.

So, if you completely ignored the fact that she was dressed like a prostitute, Kate actually looked nice.

That didn't stop her from rushing into the car before anyone could see her.

Derrick laughed at her, and continued to do so as he made his way to the driver's seat. He only stopped after he buckled his seatbelt, and noticed Kate's pouting expression. "Oh come on, I was only teasing. You look very pretty."

Kate narrowed her eyes. "Stop it."

"In fact, you're simply ravishing."

"Derrick, I said stop it."

"Downright illustrious."

"I swear to god…"

"A sexual goddess."

"_Drive_, you stupid jerk."

Derrick started laughing again, and proceeded to chuckle all the way to his apartment.

-ooOOoo-

_An hour later…_

Kate twirled her empty martini glass around in her hand. Lively music and dancing bodies pulsed around her, but she ignored it all. She was too busy pouting and throwing Derrick glares over the mini bar counter.

Honestly though, what twenty-six year old had a mini bar in their house? And a pool table? And a humongous stereo system? She knew that Laura was rich, but this was just ridiculous!

Kate had wanted to go home the minute she stepped inside the house. Laura had been all smiles and compliments of course, which was nice, but she had basically ignored Kate in favor of talking to Derrick. Kate was used to this kind of treatment, and was therefore unsettled by the attention that she was getting from other party goers. The stupid dress was drawing both male and female attention, and she had narrowly avoided several pickup attempts in the past hour. She was going to kill her sister and Derrick with the same gun.

Derrick had flown off to bar duty the moment he had finished saying hello to Laura, and Kate had trailed after him like a lost puppy. She took her position at the bar and stayed there for the rest of the night, even though Derrick was a bit too busy to actually talk.

She swiveled around on her stool (stools that turn, christ this girl was rich) and scanned the population of the house. Everyone was dancing and drinking and laughing and having a good time. A girl was making out with a guy in a dark corner while three guys were urging on two kissing girls in another corner.

God, since when did everyone revert back to high school years?

It was then that Kate noticed the man. He was standing in the doorway of the living room/dance central with a blonde guy, and it looked like the two of them were having an argument. He was standing in a position in which Kate could see the front of him, and _jesus _did he have a nice front.

His hair was tussled and dark, the same color as the (attractive) stubble that covered his jaw and chin. He had a tall and powerful looking body, with olive colored skin and sea green eyes which were bright enough to see from across the room. He was dressed in a blue button down and black slacks, and everything seemed to fit him perfectly in all the right places.

The man had to be the hottest guy Kate had ever seen, and Kate had seen her fair share of attractive men in her lifetime. (She was a swim instructor for god's sake, she worked with them.) Of course, Kate was so busy appraising his body that she didn't notice the blonde guy walking away in a huff. However, she certainly noticed when the man's eyes met hers.

Yup. Definitely sea green.

He held her gaze, and slowly looked her up and down . Kate blushed and quickly looked away, swiveling her stool around to face the bar. No more eye sex for this girl. She found herself facing Derrick's chest, and she looked up to find him staring at her with a smirk and cocked eyebrow.

Her blush intensified. "What?"

His smirk grew. "Who was that?"

"Who was who?" Kate might as well play dumb.

"The man that you were just fucking with your mind."

"Fucking with my mind? What on earth are you talking about?"

Derrick rolled his eyes. "Don't play coy. You know I'm talking about Mr. Gorgeous over there, who's still staring at you by the way."

Kate ducked her head a bit. "Wait, what? Seriously?"

Derrick nodded, checking over his shoulder. "Yup, still starin'."

"Oh my god, don't stare at him! He'll think I'm asking you about him!" She grabbed his arm.

Derrick chuckled. "Do you know that guy?"

"No! I'd think I'd remember someone who looked like that!" Kate hissed.

He frowned. "Well, he sure seems to know you."

She fought the urge to turn around and look. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know, he just looks like he recognizes you." Derrick shrugged. "Why don't you invite him over?"

"What?! Are you crazy?"

"Are you? Why shouldn't you?"

Kate started to take another drink from her martini before she remembered her empty glass. "I can think of a million reasons!"

"Then ignore them all and start listening to me! Invite him over."

Kate glared at him, then risked a glance over her shoulder. She couldn't find the man, and she figured that might as well be a good thing. "It doesn't matter now, he's gone."

"I hope you're not talking about me."

Kate would take it to her grave that she didn't jump when she heard the gravely voice. She turned to find a pair of incredibly intense green eyes staring her down. She opened her mouth to say something (hopefully something clever), but ended up gaping like a fish.

Derrick was in his element. He smiled at the man, his eyes flickering back and forth between him and Kate. "Can I get you anything?"

The man gave him a polite grin, and Kate immediately noticed that how dashing his smile was. "No, thanks." He nodded at Derrick.

Derrick nodded back, smirked at Kate, then pointedly walked away.

Kate contemplated throwing her martini glass at him.

Before she could act on her thoughts, the man leaned against the bar counter, looking at her with a smile in his eyes. "Your friend seems a bit pushy."

God, that voice belonged in a bedroom, _not _in a normal conversation. Kate swallowed, then realized that she should probably respond. "You have no idea. He enjoys controlling every aspect of my life."

He nodded. "I take it he's the one that put you in that dress?"

Kate winced. "Is it that obvious?"

The man smiled, his teeth bright enough to blind a person. "A bit. You don't look very comfortable in it, though I can't imagine why." His gaze traveled up and down her body.

Kate cleared her throat awkwardly, her face burning up to an inferno. "Uh, thanks." It wasn't that she was uncomfortable with people appreciating how she looked. Kate wasn't too self conscious, but she would dare anyone to sit still and smile while the god of sex looked them over. The guy was border line _too _good looking. There had to be something wrong, and sex god or not, Kate wasn't here to pick up anyone.

A fact that was made totally obvious by her stripper dress.

His smile grew as her awkwardness became more apparent. He glanced at her empty martini. "Can I buy you a drink?"

Kate wanted to say yes. She _really _wanted to say yes, but that wasn't exactly an option for her. The dating website flashed before her mind, and she remembered her own rule about hot guys and alcohol.

She tried for a polite smile, which probably looked more like a grimace. "If you want to. You should probably know though that I'm not here to, I mean, I'm not looking for…Um, I just…" Kate stammered and blushed like a moron, waving her right hand around for inspiration. The man tilted his head to one side, and god when did _that _become a turn on?

Kate let out a frustrated groan/sigh, and let her hand flop down on the counter. "Look, I'm sure you're really nice and all, but I'm only here because my friend dragged me along. I'm not looking for any…action." She mentally slapped herself. _Action_? Really? What was she, 16?

For some reason, the guy didn't seem affected at all by her rebuke. "That's understandable," he said, that gravely tone of his rumbling over Kate. "I suspected as much from the way you rejected the others." He gave her a sly grin.

Kate rolled her eyes with a short laugh. "It's the dress. It's giving off all the wrong signals."

"On the contrary, I think some would believe it's giving off the right signals." He made an over exaggerated wink, causing Kate to giggle like a school girl.

She couldn't help but notice how incredibly stupid this whole situation was. Here she was, sitting at a bar, talking to an extremely attractive guy, and blushing like she was born to do it. Hours ago, she had been happy with the fact that she was an insociable loser who was still moping over her breakup. Now here sat, at a scummy party in a trashy dress with a handsome man.

Not that Kate was going to complain. If she had the option to, she would love to sit and just stare at his face all night long. (Yes, he was _that_ hot.) His eyes were truly mesmerizing, and their color reminded her of the ocean that lay just outside her father's house when she was a child. He was young, in his twenties, but his face held a sort of divine age to it. It was strange, but he looked wise beyond his ears. His eyes were too sad and knowledgeable to belong to a young man, and the way he spoke dripped with charm and intellect.

Kate felt relaxed around him, besides the nervous butterflies that automatically appeared whenever she was around an attractive person.

Feeling brave, she gave him a warm smile. "So, should I introduce myself first?"

He nodded. "If you wish."

She held out her hand. "Kate Nora."

He gently grasped her hand in his, smiling that perfect smile of his. "Paul Delmar."

_Strong grip._ Kate thought, and she immediately forced her brain to stray away from the ideas which that brought up. She eased her hand from his with another smile. "So Paul, you gonna' get me that drink?"

Paul laughed, and waved his hand to signal to Derrick. Derrick hurried over, his eyes roaming over the two of them in an obvious attempt to see if they had progressed much since he last talked to them. Apparently he liked what he saw, because his face broke out into a teasing grin. "What can I get you?"

Paul slid Kate's empty martini glass towards him. "A refill on whatever it she was having."

Derrick nodded. "Coming right up." He raised his eyebrows at Kate as he turned away, sending her a silent message of _Damn girl!_

Kate glared at him. "He's really getting on my nerves." She muttered to Paul.

He shrugged. "I just think he wants to see you happy."

She whipped her head around to look at him. "What makes you say that?"

Paul's eyes searched her face with a strange amount of intensity, giving Kate the disturbing notion that he could read her mind. "I don't mean to be rude, but you don't look to cheerful. Did something happen?"

Kate wished she had her drink already. She avoided eye contact with him, staring instead at the bar counter. "Yes, but it was a while ago."

He seemed to get the hint. "I see."

Kate cleared her throat again, and immediately took control of the conversation. "So Paul Delmar, what is it that you do?"

Paul smirked. "Have you run out of conversation topics?"

Kate supposed that she should have been proud of her cheeks for being able to turn that red without combusting, but she couldn't get past the embarrassment.

He chuckled. "I happen to be on the board of directors for aquariums and sea life in this part of the country." He shrugged. "It's boring at times, but I enjoy working with sea life, and it pays well."

Kate's eyes widened. "That sounds amazing!"

Paul raised his eyebrows.

"No, really, that's interesting! Do you ever have a chance to work with the animals?"

Paul shrugged. "Every one in a while I'll do an inspection, but not as often as I would like."

Kate sighed. "Still, pretty awesome job."

He laughed a little. "I'm glad you think so."

Derrick stopped by to drop off her martini, then walked away as soon as he placed it on the counter. Kate didn't mind so much now, as Paul seemed to be becoming more interesting by the minute.

"So, are you going to tell me what you do for a living as well?" He leaned his back casually against the bar, his head angled towards her.

Kate took a quick sip of her drink, noticing that Derrick had gone heavy on the alcohol. "It's not as interesting as yours."

Paul shook his head. "I doubt that." He flashed another smile, causing Kate to lose track of her thoughts for a moment.

When she was able to talk again, she did so with an embarrassed smile. "I'm a swim instructor."

He blinked. "Really?"

Kate averted her eyes. "You don't have to act so surprised."

"I'm not surprised, just interested."

She snapped her eyes back to him, finding that he looked completely serious. "It's not interesting, trust me." Kate felt the need to explain her boring job, especially since she was talking to a member of the board of directors for ocean life resources in her state.

Paul propped an elbow up on the table. "Instructing others can be very interesting. Is it a full time job?"

Kate nodded. "Yeah. My dad owns the sport center. I manage most of the water applications, but I do swim lessons most of the time."

He studied her. "You work with kids."

Kate smiled a bit. "Um, yes, I do. They're easier to teach."

Paul nodded with a sheepish little grin. "I'm sorry if that creeped you out. I'm told I can be too observative and intruding."

She shook her head, her smile still in place. "It's fine. But, how did you know that I teach kids?"

He shrugged. "You have a nurturing look about you."

Kate almost spat out her drink. Nurturing? No one had ever called her that before. People usually described her as shy and kind. Then again, she was talking to a stranger she met at a party, so maybe she wasn't as shy as she thought. Still, that didn't make her nurturing.

Thankfully, they were interrupted before Kate had to come up with anything to say. The blonde guy that Paul had been talking to earlier walked up to them. He was good looking too, tan with blue eyes and a nice body, but not really Kate's type. _Like you could have a type right now._ She thought glumly to herself.

The new guy looked Kate over with an unreadable expression, then turned to Paul. "Sorry to interrupt your date, but you should come outside. Your brother's here."

Kate blinked in surprise at his tone. He sounded annoyed and dismissive, and it was obvious he couldn't care less about who Kate was or what she was doing.

Paul straightened, his eyes flashing to the entrance of the backyard. "Tell him I'm occupied."

Kate's face grew warm again.

The blonde guy cocked an eyebrow. "Occupied?"

Paul nodded, his stance becoming a bit stiffer. "Yes, I was in the middle of a conversation. Tell him if he really wants to talk to me, then he can call me tomorrow."

The guy crossed his arms with a glare. "He's not going to like that."

"Tough." Paul's voice dropped lower, and Kate had to suppress a shiver. Seriously, how sexy could a guy be?

The other man held Paul's gaze for a moment, then dropped his arms with an annoyed sigh. He looked over Kate again, then turned to Paul with a smirk. "I'll tell him. Enjoy your _conversation_." He sauntered off towards the backyard.

Kate stared after him, feeling embarrassed and a bit angry. The man had obviously thought she was a slut.

Paul sighed, his posture deflating a bit as he leaned against a stool. "I apologize for him. He can be a real idiot."

Kate turned away, hating the mortification that was still churning in her stomach. "It's fine."

He turned to her, his intense green eyes studying her again. Kate felt like an animal caught in a car's headlights, she couldn't look away.

"You're embarrassed."

Kate almost jumped when he spoke. She quickly took another sip of her drink, now glad that Derrick had gone heavy on the alcohol. "Yes, I guess you could say I'm embarrassed."

Paul shook his head. "You really shouldn't listen to him. He treats everyone in the same fashion. Besides, why take his word over mine? I've already told you that you look beautiful."

Kate laughed nervously, her embarrassment dying a bit. "Thank you. Who was that guy anyway?"

Paul glanced towards the back yard again, his mouth set into a straight line. "Apollo. My nephew."

Kate raised her eyebrows. Paul and the man had looked about the same age, but she decided not to say anything. She had met stranger families.

He shook his head. "He usually isn't like this, but lately his mood has become sour. His wife's away on a…business trip, and he's usually better when she's around." Paul fumbles a bit over the word business, as if he'd rather use another word for it.

Still, Kate ignored it in favor of searching the backyard for Apollo. (Weird name, but none of her business). "Is it a 'two half's make a whole' situation? Apollo and his wife?"

Paul nodded with a shrug of his head, rubbing his hand underneath his stubble covered chin. "Yes. Call me sentimental, but seeing the two of them together makes me happy. It's truly amazing to see two people fit together so perfectly. I really hope they stay with each other."

And doesn't that sound familiar? Kate squirmed in her seat a bit, remembering how people used to describe her relationship with Nick. Bits of conversation flashed in her mind.

_"__You two are adorable! You're practically made for each other!"_

_"__Nick and Kate, fucking prom dates for life."_

_"__So, when's the wedding? Or has he gotten the nerve to propose yet?"_

_"__He's perfect for you. The both of you are like the poster children for smooth relationships everywhere."_

_"__Kate, I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do this anymore. It's over."_

With Nick's breakup words floating through her ears, Kate took another sip of her martini, relishing the alcohol and trying to ignore the way that Paul was looking at her.

Thankfully, he seemed to decided that she didn't want to talk about it, and turned away a bit. "Truthfully though, a relationship with that guy would probably kill any normal woman. You have to give her some credit."

Kate smiled, internally cursing how it felt a bit forced. "Anyone who can handle him certainly has my respect."

He smiled at her, and _hello _green eyes and shining teeth. "I would like to see you again, perhaps when we're not surrounded by hormones and the like. You make for an interesting conversation."

Kate frowned. "You're leaving?"

Paul hauled himself off the counter with a sigh. "Unfortunately. However, I would like your number if you don't mind. Don't worry, no action needs to be involved."

Kate giggled again. (Dammit.) "Oh, why not?" She took her martini napkin and the pen he suddenly offered her. She quickly scrawled out her phone number, then handed it to him with a warning look. "Remember, this is not a pick up or a promise or anything, just a number exchange."

Paul smiled, his eyes twinkling. "Of course," he said, his face filled with amusement and something gentle. He truly was something to behold.

Aaaaaand guess who didn't sleep for most of the night?

**A/N: I didn't, because this chapter was SO FUCKING HARD! Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed this chapter (even though I have yet to add any smut) and continue to read! Please review, favorite, follow! Please! I have children to feed! Not really, but it sounds dramatic.**

**P.S. I am going on vacation soon, and while I will try to put a chapter up during my vacation, it will be hard cuz' I will be doing it from a ship. Lucky me, and lucky you for maybe being able to read a chapter from a cruise line.**


	4. Starbucks and Hangovers Suck

**An excerpt from Aphrodite's book, ****Love Sucks and Then You Die**

_Have you every met somebody so good looking you just _knew _that something had to be off? _

_Well, I'm here to tell you that feeling is completely natural. It's based on human instinct and dates back to uncivilized times, when people lived in caves and ate dirt._

_You see, when you look at someone attractive, your body rushes with endorphins and sharpening instincts, some leaning towards sexually based desires, and others towards defending yourself. Why the defense? People fear things that are better than them. Beauty is definitely one of those things, especially since it could be used as an intimidation tactic. In fact, it could be argued that looks and sex appeal are the worse weapons of the mortal and immortal world._

_But, we're getting off topic._

_If you are intimidated by an attractive person, don't let it get to you. Put on a mask, control what you say and do, and try to use your own means in order to intimidate them as well._

_Unless intimidation is a turn on for you, in which case please turn to page 56. It covers dark bedroom kinks quite nicely._

-ooOOoo-

**Sam**

A hand slammed a piece of paper down on Sam's desk, eliciting a wince from her and a smirk from the owner of the hand.

Sam glared up at her brother. "Did you not notice my hangover, or do you _like_ having your eyebrows ripped off your face?"

Chris leaned against the desk, that dumb ass smirk of his still intact. He was as annoyingly big as usual, and that fact was only pronounced by the stupid muscle shirt he was wearing. "Oh, I noticed your hangover alright. What I didn't notice was any hickeys. Tell me, were you too drunk to function for sex, or has your lousy game finally caught up to you?"

Sam huffed and threw a half assed punch at his shoulder, one that was easily dodged. "What do you want, bitch?" She grumbled.

Chris chuckled. "Easy now. I just came over here to deliver the day's coffee orders. Sheila and Peter need their gasoline for the day, and by the looks of it, so do you."

Sam scowled at the list of drinks. "Since when did I become the delivery girl?"

"Since you stormed in here this morning, yelled at Sheila, tripped over the rug, and swore at the display case. You need some air before you kill a baby."

Sam groaned and let her head fall to the desk. "God, can you go apologize to Sheila for me? I had a rough night."

Chris snorted. "No kidding." He paused to study her for a moment, his eyebrows inching together. "You know, maybe you should stop this whole 'partying until you drop' thing. It's really weighing you down."

She glanced up at him. "What, so you've finally decided to play the concerned older brother?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, punch me for being worried about you. Never mind the fact that you're probably killing your liver."

Sam rolled her head over to rest on her right cheek. "My liver died two years ago, at Peter's birthday party."

"Christ, don't remind me."

Sam smirked at him. "Hey, wasn't that the time that you challenged Courtney to a belly dancing competition?"

Chris folded his highly tattooed arms with a huff. "How was I supposed to know she was Peter's girlfriend?"

"I don't know, how about the fact that she was wearing his engagement ring?"

Chris swatted her head, causing Sam to moan with the pain that followed. "Get up. You're going to Starbucks," he ordered.

Sam raised her head with a jerk, and just stopped herself from slamming her fist down on the desk when she remembered that slamming = noise, and noise = molten lava pain in her head. She settled for gritting her teeth and glaring some more. "I'm not going to get coffee for you jerks. I have work to do! I have to finish this tat sketch for that woman who works at the bar downtown."

She gestured towards the design she had been working on. It was something that she was proud of, since it was a big challenge. The woman had ordered an intricate web design that would snake over her right shoulder and up her neck. Each part was tiny and complex, and Sam was only halfway done with it.

Chris shook his head. "No, you need caffeine. Now."

"Chris, I need to work on this! It's very hard, and her appointment is tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow? Sam, you have plenty of time," he started to chastise.

"I do _not_! I have a lot of appointments today, not to mention the other sketches that need to be done, and those sorority girls that will be coming over later!"

"Which is exactly why you need to get some coffee. Now, up you get." He marched around the desk and grabbed her underneath her armpits.

Sam, who had not been expecting the attack, yelped and tried to fight back. Unfortunately, her brother was a giant in both height and muscle girth, and lifted her tiny body with hardly any trouble.

"Put me down baldy, or I'll rip off the rest of your hair!" she screeched.

Chris rolled his eyes, and placed her on the other side of the desk. "I don't have anymore hair on my head. It's shaved, remember?"

"Who said I was talking about the hair on your head?" Sam growled, and aimed to stomp on his foot.

Chris shifted out of the way with a small laugh. "Nice try, Tinker Bell. Now, take the list, and go."

Sam, who knew when to pick her fights, half heartedly grabbed the list and slowly headed towards the door. "But I hate Starbucks," she grumbled.

Chris nudged her along. "Yeah yeah, quit you're whining."

Sam sighed, but quickly aimed a jab at his gut. This time, she didn't miss.

-ooOOoo-

She hadn't been exaggerating. Sam _loathed _Starbucks, especially in the morning.

Why did everyone have to look so goddam…prissy? Sam couldn't think of another word for it. Everyone looked important and full of themselves, with their smart phones and office clothing. She threw pitying glances at the coffee run interns, who were almost in the same boat as her.

Of course, the difference was that her job was fucking awesome, but never mind that.

Another reason that Sam hated Starbucks was because of The Looks. Frankly, she got it wherever she went around the city, unless she was inside the tattoo parlor. She was something to stare at, with her bright lipstick and multiple ear piercings. Not to mention the fact that her clothing was always ripped in strange ways, and often was put on in order to attract attention. Sam really hated being short, so her style was often meant to catch the eye, so as to counteract the usual bored look over.

The Looks were disapproving, judgmental stares that she usually got from other people. Since Sam was looking for attention, she didn't mind it. However, Starbucks was something entirely different. In Starbucks, people were usually more abrasive and catty, whether it was from the early mornings, or the sense of self importance that came with getting your own little fancy shit drink.

Take for example, the business woman that was standing in line two people in front of her. She was on the phone, but kept shooting glares back at Sam with a sneer and an upturned nose. The bitch in question was wearing a woman's suit, or whatever those things were called. Her hair was pulled back into a bun that was so tight, it was probably hazardous to her blood circulation.

God, Sam did not have time for this. She should be back at the parlor, finishing up that spider web design. Those sorority girls were due any minute and she wasn't-

"Didn't expect to see you here."

Well, shit.

Sam turned slowly, only to take in the full view of a green tee-shirt covered chest. Her eyes traveled up that (lovely) chest to find a startlingly handsome face, with a pair of chocolate colored eyes and a smirking mouth.

Hermes Evangelos.

Wait, she remembered his name? Sam had been completely wasted that night. Usually in situations like these she could barely remember the people that she had talked to, much less the color of their eyes and their names.

Hermes, seemingly not noticing her distress, looked her up and down. "It's a bit of a surprise to see you," he said, that light tone of his showing no awkwardness in the confrontation of a person who had made a drunken fool of herself the last time they met.

Sam, who was known to be snarky when she was on the defensive, gave him a smirk of her own. "What, do I not fit into the usual Starbucks crowd?"

Hermes hummed in thought. "Not really, but it's not a bad thing." He smiled at her, and god did he look adorable when he smiled. "I don't believe you ever told me your name."

Sam studied him. "Well, I think that you told me yours. Hermes….something, right?" Best to pretend that she didn't remember his entire name.

"Hermes Evangelos," he said knowingly, no doubt catching her little avoidance of revealing her own name. "And you would be…?"

Sam smiled. "The coffee fetcher for the day."

He raised an eyebrow. "You know, you're going to have to tell me who you are at some point."

She shook her head, and turned back to the line in front of her. "There's no law that says I have to."

Hermes chuckled again, and no guy had any right to have a laugh that sexy. "I bet I can get it out of you." There was something dark and flirtatious about his tone, and it took all of Sam's power not to turn around.

She merely let out a little laugh of her own. "I'd like to see you try, Bigfoot."

"Did you just call me Bigfoot?"

Sam glanced over her shoulder, looking him up and down. Hermes' tee-shirt and jeans ensemble was what any normal dude would wear, but the fact that the dude wearing it looking like a freakin' porn star made it seem as though he had dressed up. Not to mention the fact that the guy was well fit, and about the size of the empire state building.

"Have you looked in the mirror lately?" Sam asked him, "Do you ever get dizzy from the height?"

"Do you ever get dizzy from the lack of height?" He quipped back, his face as straight as ever.

Sam glared at him, though he only offered her a sarcastic grin in return.

"Uh, do you two want to order something?"

Sam whirled around to find that she had somehow made it to the front of the line. The cashier was looking at them expectantly, her gaze teetering between bored curiosity and annoyance.

"Um, we're not together," Sam quickly explained, ignoring the snort she got from Hermes. "Separate orders."

The girl nodded slowly. "What do you want then?"

_So much for the preppy Starbucks barista attitude. _Sam thought to herself. She took out her list and rattled off the drinks, adding some kind of chai tea late thingie for herself. As the cashier rang up her order, she tried for a polite smile when she turned to Hermes. "Well, I guess this is goodbye then."

He raised his eyebrows, that smirk back in place. "Oh no it's not. I still don't have your name."

"Neither do I," the cashier butted in, "For the order?

Sam was very proud of her blush for staying mental. She told the girl the names for each of the drinks, as she didn't want them to be mixed up later. For her own she supplied No Name, for the benefit of Hermes' prying ears.

He rolled his eyes at that, but didn't comment.

Once she was done, she hurried over to the delivery counter to wait for her order, silently praying to whatever god would listen that the drinks would be done quick enough for her to get the hell out of there, away from The Looks and Mr. Flirts-A-Lot.

Unfortunately, Sam's prayers remained unanswered, and the kid making her drinks takes _for-fucking-ever. _She had ordered four, simple drinks. It shouldn't be taking that long. Sam knows that something has it out for her when the kid finally hands over her drinks, along with Hermes'.

She hurriedly stepped forward and grabbed a tray, ignoring Hermes' amused glances as she shoved the drinks into the holders. Sam pointedly walked past him, pretending for all the world like she was in a big hurry to get back to her work.

But no. The asshole marched forward with his long legs and held the door open for her, eyeing her with an obvious challenge. Sam, who hated being dared, nodded politely and briskly walked through the open door. Hermes trailed after her, easily catching up with her pace.

She glanced at him. "You know, some people would see this as a little bit creepy."

Hermes shrugged. "Some people would."

Sam stared straight ahead, refusing to smile at that. "Mind sharing why you're following me?"

He stuck a hand in his pocket, humming to himself. "I was telling the truth at the party. I'm interested in your story, and hopelessly bored at the moment. Please, entertain me."

Sam, forgetting not to look at him, gave Hermes an amused grin. The guy was amazingly easy going, even if he was a bit too confident for his own good. Then again, who was she to complain about overconfidence? Sam practically oozed it.

She decided to indulge him a bit more. "My story isn't particularly interesting. Why would you want to hear it?" Sam's honestly curious. The guy may flirt a lot, but Sam had a feeling that sex wasn't his main goal, or any form of an intimate relationship.

Hermes rolled his eyes. "You? Not interesting? Please. You're a woman who works in a tattoo parlor, yet has no visible tattoos. You have two older brothers, and somehow managed to make it to a feminine adulthood. Plus, you're single, despite your natural beauty and quick wit." He gave her a soft smile. "Calling yourself uninteresting is not only incorrect, but a horrible insult."

Sam could do nothing but stare. And, apparently, sputter. "What the…Are you crazy or something?"

"Or something."

"The fu-…Dude, the party was a week ago!" Sam exclaimed, "How can you remember all of that?" She gave him an incredulous look. "Have you been stalking me?"

Hermes had the nerve to laugh. He shook his head, smiling like the whole thing was just a big joke, and not reason for a lawsuit. "Calm your tits. I just have a very good memory."

Sam snorted. "I'll say." She paused for a moment, remembering something that he said. "Hey, I never told you that I was single."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "You mean to tell me that you aren't?"

She smiled. "No, but I never told you that."

"I thought it was pretty obvious from the way that you were kissing that guy." Hermes glances over at her again, and it occurred to Sam that he was trying to say something else. She decided not to look into it.

The two fell into a comfortable silence, the type that friends usually share. Sam recognized the feeling from the last time she spoke to the guy. His calmness and friendly attitude was a bit contagious, and Sam found that she didn't mind talking to the guy. Still, the fact remained that she was embarrassed about the last time that they met, when she had slobbered over a married man and then kicked him to the ground.

Then proceeded to flirt shamelessly with the guy who had witnessed the whole thing.

It wasn't as though it was entirely Sam's fault though. She had a habit of building off of someone else's attitude, and since he was the one who essentially initiated the flirting, Sam had gone along with it. Besides, it wasn't like he was a bad person to flirt with. Hermes could hold his own, she gave him that. He had even managed to elicit a shudder from her, which was no easy feat.

Of course, it helped that the guy looked like lust itself, with his messily brown sex hair and warm brown eyes. Sam found herself studying his stubble again, marveling how something that usually looked lazy could be so attractive.

Hermes noticed, and smirked at her. "See something you like?"

Sam laughed. "Sorry, but egotistical stalkers don't do it for me." _Liar._

He clutched at his chest. "Oh! I am wounded!"

It was then that Sam noticed the flash of gold in his hand. She stared pointedly at it, and he opened his palm to reveal a small gold coin.

"What's that?" she asked, realizing that he must have pulled it out while she had been busy staring.

Hermes held it up in front of his face, seeming a bit surprised to find he was holding it. "It's a coin that was given to me long ago. It was gift from some…friends." He smiled. "They told me that it was magical, and would help me find something." He flipped the coin in the air, a well practiced move.

"Find what?" Sam asked, her eyes trailing the coin as it spun through the air.

"True love."

Sam's eyes snapped up to his, only to find sarcastic amusement there.

He smirked, and studied the coin again. "They told me the woman that could see the symbol on it would be my one true match."

Sam raised her eyebrows. "Really? What kind of friends told you that?"

"I admit, they are very…strange, to say the least." Hermes sighed. "Still, I hold onto the coin, out of kindness more than anything."

Sam stared at the coin in his hand for a bit longer, noticing how the golden shine seemed to call out to her. "May I take a look at it?"

He glanced at her. "Why? Hoping to be my true match?" Hermes wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

She laughed. "No, you ass. I would just like to look at your magical golden coin."

Hermes stared at her, then down at the coin in his hand. He shrugged, then tossed it over. Sam caught it with her free hand, and held it in her palm. It was heavier than she thought it would be, though no less interesting. The side facing her was blank, though when she turned it over, she could see the imprint of a staff with two snakes coiling around it.

Sam wrinkled her nose. "What were they talking about, 'only your true love can see it'? The symbol looks pretty clear to me."

Hermes frowned at her. "Wait, so you're saying you can see it?"

Sam nodded. "It would be pretty hard not to. It's a staff with snakes coiling around it, right?"

He seemed to be in shock. His mouth fell open and everything. "Yes, that's it, but…" He snatched the coin back, his gaze traveling from it to her. "You can see it?" Hermes asked again.

Sam's eyebrows furrowed. "Uh, yeah?"

Hermes stared at her for a moment, just for a moment. And then, his calm demeanor was back. "Well, I suppose this means that we're meant for each other."

She rolled her eyes. "Doubt it, since you still don't know my name."

And then, without any warning at all, he was right up in her personal space. He stared down at her, his eyes traveling up and down her body in a flattering way. Sam was so surprised that she forgot to hold in her blush, and Hermes definitely noticed it.

"Hmm, I won't worry about you're name." He leaned in close, his hand coming up to cup her cheek and his lips brushing against her ear. "I always get what I want, in the end."

Sam could do nothing but stand there like a frozen, gaping fish. Hermes chuckled darkly into her ear, and he withdrew, his fingers leaving a trail of fire against her cheek.

He smirked at her flushed state, and glanced to the right. "This is your stop, correct?"

Sam looked over to find the tattoo parlor. _Collin's Body Art _shone above the door in big neon letters. She turned back to Hermes to find him walking away, that dumb smirk still on his face.

"Maybe I'll see you around." He winked at her.

Sam glared at him. "Don't bet on it!" she called, cursing her red cheeks.

Hermes laughed, the sound carrying over the empty street. He flipped the golden coin once in the air, and Sam couldn't help herself as she watched it shimmer. Some part of her knew that she would see that man again, and she wasn't sure whether to feel wary, or excited.

It was only when she passed out the drinks and returned to her desk that Sam realized her hangover had suddenly disappeared. She blamed it on the cold air.

**A/N: Yes yes I know, no smut. Stay tuned, and you'll get some in the next chapter. If this chapter was confusing for you, don't worry. It's supposed to be. Everything will be explained eventually. I'm going on a long vacation tomorrow, so I won't be posting for a few weeks. Happy summer!**


	5. Lindsay Lohan Sucks

**A/N: Hi y'all, I'm back! Let's just cut to the story, instead of listening to my ass go on and on about anything unrelated to it.**

**Warnings: Sexual innuendos, a bit of homosexual teasing, swearing, and a tiny bit of graphic kissing (you heard me)**

**An Excerpt from Aphrodite's book, ****Love Sucks and Then You Die**

_Alright, one of the questions that I get asked the most in my daily 'job' is, "Aphrodite, how do I let someone down gently? You know, rejection without much pain?"_

_My usual advice is to keep it light. Don't break their hearts, but get your point across. The last thing you want is mixed signals. Try a joke if you can manage it, or a smile and a good excuse. However, if you do choose an excuse, think it through._

_This is important, so listen up. Only play the 'I'm in a relationship' card if you can go through with it. For example, don't be a dumb ass and use it on your neighbor, a person who will probably see you often. Use the relationship excuse on a stranger, someone who you will likely never see again. The problem is that people are probably not going to believe the relationship excuse. It's well used, though you can't blame me for that. (My personal policy is 'The more lovers, the merrier!', but you've seen where that's gotten me, reputation-wise.) Be prepared for the judgmental stare and the occasional angry taunt._

_The bottom line is, people don't like being rejected. That should not stop you from making your choice though. One of the things I love about humanity is their free will, so use it._

_Unless of course that unwanted attention is actually wanted attention, in which case please see chapter 5. It talks about denial, which is an extremely stupid thing to buy into. Pray to whatever god (*cough* me *cough*) you want that you're not in denial. If you are, then stop making excuses for yourself and just throw yourself at (or onto) the person. Things will become so much worse for you if you don't._

**Derrick**

Derrick thought that he wouldn't see Dionysus again. Actually, he prayed that he wouldn't see Dionysus again. The guy had left an impression, which was dangerous in Derrick World. He did not have the time to be attracted to anyone at the moment, especially someone who was an obvious flirt.

He had talked to Dionysus on a whim, and drank wine with him because hey, who says no to free alcohol? Derrick was surprised and glad to find that Dionysus was fun to talk to, with his easy 'screw everything' attitude and dry sense of humor.

And the fact that the dude was the hottest motherfucker on the planet had nothing to do with it. No siree.

But, Derrick was busy, what with becoming an excellent cook and concentrating on helping his cousin through her pregnancy. He didn't have time for a relationship, even if all he did was talk to a guy for a couple of minutes over a bottle of wine.

So what if that had been the best conversation Derrick had with another human all month? He needed to get serious.

That conversation with Kate sure didn't help matters. Derrick had gone over to quiz _her_ on her relationship status, not the other way around. And shit, when did she become so good at reading him?

Still, that party had been a total success in Derrick's book. Kate had looked great (even if she had been uncomfortable), and she had started to _flirt _with someone! An attractive someone! An attractive someone whom Derrick was going to stalk online until he had a decent background story! Yay!

All in all, he was busy. Too busy for anything resembling a relationship.

"Hey Derrick, the guys and I are going out for shots. Wanna' come?"

Derrick looked up to find Alf smiling at him from over the bar counter. His friend had his blonde hair greased back from his face, though Derrick had no idea where he found the hair gel. Alf was wearing that 'Let's go drink and get arrested!' look on his face, and Derrick was sort of glad he had an excuse to stay behind. One night in a police office cell was enough, thank you very much.

Derrick shook his head with a sorrowful wince. "Sorry bud, I gotta' clean up the bar counter."

Alf's face fell. "What? Isn't that Greg's job?"

"The guy's wife is in labor, and I owe him a favor."

Alf snorted. "Nice rhyme."

Derrick rolled his eyes, and went back to wiping down the counter. "Go get drunk off your ass. I'll be fine."

"Sure you will. You know something? I'm beginning to suspect that you hate sex."

Derrick's eyes snapped up. "What?"

Alf leaned against the counter, gesturing around with his right hand. "Whenever I offer you a situation in which you would probably get some, you have some excuse up your ass."

Derrick frowned. "Alf, this has to be done-"

"Yeah yeah yeah, I know. Just, you don't have to be working all the time, right? You're allowed to have fun."

Derrick smirked. "I appreciate your concern about my sex life, but I'm serious. Everything's cool."

Alf looked doubtful, but before he could say anything, someone else walked up to the bar. Someone else with blue eyes and a cocky-ass attitude.

Shit.

"If the bar's still open, I'll take a Bud," Dionysus said, slapping a five down on the counter with a smile.

Derrick, much to his credit, didn't piss himself. He froze up and stared like some kind of moron, but he didn't piss himself.

Fortunately, Alf had no problem with functioning like a normal human being. He looked Dionysus up and down, probably taking in the jeans and tee-shirt ensemble that looked like some sort of runway outfit. Alf smirked. "Sorry dude, bar closes when the restaurant closes."

Dionysus gave him a smirk of his own. "Really? Are you sure your bartender here won't make an exception? We're pretty close." He winked at Derrick, who was currently practicing the art of _not blushing like a fucking virgin._

Alf raised his eyebrows, his eyes shifting back and forth between Dionysus and Derrick suspiciously. "You two know each other?"

"We talked once, he's Benny's friend," Derrick hurriedly told him, suddenly taking a fierce interest in wiping down the counter. He did not have time for this, he did not have time for this, he did not have time for this-

"Aw, don't make it sound like that! I thought we had something special." Dionysus leaned in to the bar, getting all up in Derrick's personal space and therefore making it extremely hard to avoid eye contact.

Alf narrowed his eyes, looking over Dionysus again. He glanced at Derrick, then back at Dionysus, then back at Derrick. Suddenly, something changed in his expression, and a pervy smile started to grow on his face.

Oh _shit_.

Alf turned to Dionysus, a dangerous twinkle in his eyes. "You seem pretty chummy with Derrick here. Known him for awhile?"

Derrick tried to send Alf a warning look, one that was completely ignored.

Dionysus shrugged, his eyes and smirk never leaving Derrick. "We only met the one time when I came to see Benny, but he left quite the impression on me."

God, why did he have to sound like he just came out of a crappy porno? Did the word 'impression' really have to sound like another word for sex?

Derrick, trying (and probably failing) to play it cool, rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "Right. He scared me, and I almost dropped a freakin' wine bottle on the floor. Then he offered me a drink, and shared a puking story about Laura. Impressions were definitely made."

Dionysus winced. "Ouch. Does he know how to cut a guy to the core or what?"

Alf shrugged. "Don't sweat it. He usually lashes out when he's attracted to someone."

That's it. Alf was going to have to die.

Before Derrick could start said murdering, Dionysus hummed thoughtfully. "In that case, I'll take it as a compliment. Please, continue to insult me." He looked Derrick up and down, causing a line of pure heat to travel up Derrick's neck.

Derrick laughed awkwardly. "I would, if the bar wasn't closed at the moment. Were you looking for Benny again?"

"Can't I come by just to see you?"

"Yeah Derrick, can't he?" Alf had his shit eating grin on, and Derrick had the strangest urge to slam his head against the counter.

"No, actually, he can't." Derrick slapped his cloth on the bar with a little more force than necessary. "I'm closing up shop as soon as _you_," he pointed at Alf, "leave."

Alf's and Dionysus' eyebrows lifted at the same time. Derrick grabbed a chipped glass he found earlier and headed towards the kitchen to throw it out. He tried not to listen to the conversation behind him, which means he strained to catch every word.

"What's up with him?" Derrick heard Dionysus ask.

Alf sighed. "I don't know. He's been really stressed lately, that could be it."

"Huh. Wasn't like that the last time I talked to him."

"Actually, I'm curious about that. What exactly did you guys do?"

Dionysus huffed in laughter. "If you're asking if we had sex, then no. We didn't do anything. We did talk though."

Alf laughed along a bit. "Yeah, but, do you want to?"

"Want to…what?"

"Have sex with him."

Derrick stopped what he was doing, full on eavesdropping now.

Dionysus laughed again. "That's a different question entirely." There was a pause. "Do you have a problem with any of that?"

Alf snorted. "Please. I really don't care who the kid shacks up with, as long as he or she's alive and breathing. He's got a stick shoved so far up his ass, that he's in danger of choking on it."

Derrick rolled his eyes, used to Alf's horrible analogies and taunts. He knew the guy was actually worried about him, even though there was no reason to be. Derrick was _fine_, and it was about time Alf realized that.

"What's your name anyways?"

"Dionysus. You?"

"Alf." There was another pause, in which Derrick assumed they were shaking hands. "You got a weird ass name, Dionysus. Got to be a bitch to say when you're drunk."

A snort. "Don't get me started."

Deciding he was done listening in, Derrick threw away the chipped glass and headed back out. Dionysus and Alf both looked up at him, neither of them looking the slightest bit guilty. Either they didn't know he was listening, or they just didn't care.

"Hey Alf, don't you have somewhere to be?" Derrick hinted as he went through the rest of the glasses.

Alf sighed dramatically. "Unfortunately, yes. I am desired elsewhere."

"Desired is a strong word," Derrick muttered. Dionysus chuckled.

"Please, you wish I was gay," Alf huffed.

Dionysus blinked in surprise. "Wait, you're not?"

One look at Alf's face, and Derrick burst out laughing.

Alf glared at the two of them. "Fuck off, both of you. Literally. Like, go in the back room and fuck each other already."

Derrick's ears grew red again (god _dammit)_, but Dionysus merely smiled. "Now Alf, there's nothing wrong with being shy about it. We're all friends here, you can show your gay pride."

Derrick, ignoring his slight embarrassment, smirked. "Yeah, it's all cool. Hey, I may know a few guys who might be interested-"

"-Ha ha, right." Alf rolled his eyes, and slung his arms through his coat. "Well, I'm gonna go prove my heterosexuality by humping the first chick I meet."

Derrick made a face. "Real classy, Alf."

"Hey, I never said I was." He waltzed towards the exit with a smile and a wink, his eyes traveling between Derrick and Dionysus with an obvious message: Fuck that guy already.

Derrick pointedly narrowed his eyes, watching with amusement as Alf threw open the doors to the restaurant like some kind of western hero.

Which, of course, left Derrick alone with Dionysus. He really needed to start thinking these things through.

He met Dionysus' eyes, which were bright and curious as they studied him. Derrick cleared his throat and went back to what he was doing, successfully breaking eye contact. "Benny's not here at the moment, but I can get him for you if you want."

"Nah, I can wait till' he gets back."

Derrick could practically feel Dionysus' eyes burning a hole in the back of his head. He sighed. "Look, I know I'm being awkward and crabby, but I've been really busy lately and-"

"-And you're stressed. It's fine, I get it." Dionysus smiled at him, and Derrick couldn't help but notice once again how bright those teeth were. Jesus, did the guy spend half his time brushing and flossing?

"Thanks," he said after realizing he probably should respond. Dionysus nodded. Derrick turned back to the glass supply, trying his hardest not to do anything stupid, like kiss the smirk off the handsome fucker's face.

"You know what?" Dionysus said.

"What?"

"I've noticed something about you."

Derrick snuck a glance at him. "And, that would be…?"

"You like helping others with their jobs."

Not knowing how to respond to that, Derrick merely raised an eyebrow. "How do you figure?" He pulled out another glass, just to have something to do with his hands.

"Well for starters, you're cleaning out the bar. Aren't you a chef?"

Derrick sighed. How many times was going to have to explain this? "Yes, but the bartender is becoming a father at the moment, so I figured I'd do the guy a solid. He helped me out awhile back and-"

"-But that's not all," Dionysus interrupted, eyes twinkling when he looked at Derrick. "Last time I was over here, you were hell bent on cleaning up after everyone else had ditched."

Derrick huffed. "Well, someone had to do it. I would probably get blamed, and-"

"And then the whole thing with the wine fetching. Shouldn't Alf had done that if the note was found by him?"

Derrick frowned. "No one asked him to personally, and he told me to do it."

"Yeah, but you didn't have to." Dionysus cocked his head. "Why?"

Derrick stared at him, not really understanding. "Um, because it's polite to help others? It's really nothing to wonder about…" He laughed self consciously.

Dionysus shrugged. "It's just…refreshing, to see someone work so hard, and get so little gratification. It means you're a good person," he drawled out the compliment, tapping his fingers on the bar.

Please. Derrick got plenty of gratification. He was a bit of a suck up, and he knew that working hard had benefits in the end. He was trying to become a good chef, maybe open up his own restaurant someday. Plus, when he helped his friends with their work, they always payed him back. Derrick usually had to run out to check on his cousin in the middle of a work day, and it was nice to have people cover for him. He didn't know if helping people in order to receive help made him a good person, but he wasn't going to say anything about it. Dionysus would probably try to argue the point.

Instead, Derrick smiled and continued to avoid eye contact. "I'm a bit surprised that you remembered the wine bottle thing. You seemed a bit buzzed the last time I talked to you."

"How could I forget it?" Dionysus muttered under his breath.

Derrick, not sure if he was supposed to hear that or not, decided to pretend as if he didn't. "So, Benny should be back to close up in a half hour. He's with Laura at the bank or something, but he'll come around." Derrick hinted. He stared at Dionysus for a moment, who stared back with that same stupid smirk. The bastard knew _exactly _what he was doing. Derrick cleared his throat. "Well, it was nice talking to you."

He tried to beat a hasty retreat for the kitchen to clock out, mentally punching himself in the face as he did so. He heard movement behind him, and found Dionysus following him with a wide grin.

"So, you're going to leave me alone then? A stranger whom you've barely spoken to?"

Derrick turned around to open the kitchen doors. "Benny seems to trust you, so that's good enough for me."

"Yeah, but I could still pull a Lindsey Lohan and go ape shit crazy. I might steal the register or break off all the chair legs."

Derrick looked at him over his shoulder, notching that Dionysus had followed him fully into the kitchen. "Did you just say 'pull a Lindsay Lohan'?"

Dionysus winced. "Not my best material, I'll admit. How about I make it up to you? Late night dinner sound good?"

Derrick, who was just about to grab his key card, froze for a beat. It had been awhile since he had been asked out, and Dionysus had made it sound incredibly forward and casual at the same time. What the hell was with this guy? "Uh, I can't…" He stammered, blushing (_fuck_) as he grabbed his key card.

"Why not?" Dionysus asked, his grin growing.

"Because um…I'm in a relationship at the moment, and…" Derrick lied, knowing he probably looked like a red faced asshole with pudding for brains. God, his life sucked.

"You're lying."

Derrick's eyes snapped up to Dionysus' face, only to find amusement there. His face was calm and soft, and he didn't look angry or jilted in the slightest.

Derrick's denial died in his throat. "I am," he said with a sigh, shoving his key card into the slot. "Look, it's not that I don't want to or anything. I mean, you're good looking and easy to talk to, but…" He bit his lip, avoiding Dionysus' gaze. Jeez, why did he have to mention 'good looking?' "I really don't have time for that kind of stuff right now. I have a lot going on in my life, and-"

"Derrick, it's fine."

Derrick shut his mouth with a snap, the effect of hearing Dionysus say his name proving to be a bit too startling, and pleasing.

Dionysus smiled warmly at him. "You don't have to explain yourself, it's totally fine."

Derrick tentatively smiled back. "Thanks."

"No problem."

Derrick opened up the back door, and the two of them stepped out into the night. He glanced at Dionysus, noticing how the low light made his blue eyes shine.

Dammit.

"You don't have to walk me out or anything. Benny will be back soon," Derrick said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Dionysus stared at him.

Derrick blinked. "What?"

"…Can I tell you something?"

"Uh, sure."

"I didn't come here to see Benny. I came here to see you."

Derrick's mouth opened a bit. Wait, what? "Why?" he found himself asking.

Dionysus smirked, and then fucking _winked _at him. "You're interesting. You're the most intriguing thing I've seen in a long time, and it helps that you're attractive as fuck. Couldn't stop thinking about you," he finished with a shrug.

_Me neither_, Derrick thought, before remembering that manly men didn't think that sort of stuff. He forced his thoughts to head towards mustaches, beer, and football. "I uh…I really don't know what to say to that."

Dionysus laughed, and Derrick found that he liked the sound. "Don't worry about it. However, I'm going to have to apologize."

Derrick frowned. "For what?"

"For what I'm about to do."

Derrick opened his mouth to question that, but was suddenly interrupted by _a fucking kiss._ Dionysus had surged forward, placed one hand on hip, pulled him in, cupped another hand around his neck, and kissed him. And god_dam _could that man kiss. Derrick surged up into it with embarrassingly short reaction time, meeting Dionysus' lips and moving against him.

Teeth nipped at his lower lip, and Derrick's brain went bye bye. He opened his mouth in a small gasp of shock and arousal, which allowed the very tip of Dionysus tongue to brush his own in a delicious swipe.

Wait.

Hold the fuck up.

Hold the _fuck _up.

Derrick pushed against Dionysus' chest, which was surprisingly easy, seeing how his hands had ended up there anyway. Their mouths separated with a wet popping noise, which certainly did not turn Derrick on at all, nope.

He glared at Dionysus in anger and disbelief, his words dying in his throat when the fucker licked his lips, as if enjoying the fucking taste. The two stared at each other for a moment, both catching their breath. Derrick imagined a ticking time bomb. Right before he exploded, the street light nearby them stuttered off, throwing the entire street into darkness for a few seconds.

When the street light came back on, Dionysus was gone.

Derrick took a step back in shock, his mouth still gaping. Did the guy seriously just pull a Batman on him? A hit and run? What right did Dionysus have to kiss him, especially after he basically rejected the guy? Never mind the fact that the kiss had been incredibly hot.

Seriously, what the actual fuck?

**A/N: Fun fact, I've always wanted to end a chapter with that last sentence. It's literally my life's ****motto.**


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